As you will probably have seen by now, Delirious? have announced that the band will come to an end in 2009 [news item]. On Friday night I received a phone call from Jon Thatcher telling me the news. Here are my thoughts as the information started to sink in.

Friday, 4th July 2008
9:00pm Jon calls me. He's in the USA with his family. In the background I can hear an 'Independence Day' party in full swing. "I have some news", he says in his typical understated manner. During our 10 minute conversation he conveys to me the bands decision to call it a day. I can tell Jon is still slightly taken aback by the news himself. Even a few weeks ago the band didn't imagine the end was insight. As Jon says, they always knew this would happen one day, but they didn't expect it to happen so soon. But in the past few days the decision has clearly come to a head. Martin in particular has a busy family life with six young children, and mixed with a desire to see the CompassionArt charity full fill its potential, has clearly been reconsidering his future priorities. The band all have interests they'd like to pursue. I'm lost for words, and although we chat for a while neither of us really knows what to say to each other. Jon even jokes that they waited for me to reach 50 gigs before making the announcement. I try to mumble a cohesive reply, but probably fail. He says the news will be announced at their church on Sunday and asks me to hold of publishing the news until then.

9:30pm I talk about it with my wife Melissa. She says I should put all my Delirious? promos and memorabilia on ebay as there will be more demand for it now. She's joking. I think.

10:45pm Sitting watching TV but not really paying attention. My mind is reliving memories. Concerts I've been to, experiences I've had. I've been running Delirious.org.uk since 1997. That means for over 11 years Delirious? have been a huge part of my everyday life. It's a strange feeling to know that something that's been so constant for so long is coming to an end. There's the obvious sadness, and a slight emptiness. Yet I also feel an incredible sense of privilege. I've been fortunate enough to have so many unique experiences with Delirious? I remember watching the band sign copies of the 'Deeper' single in a Portsmouth record store. A few weeks later I stood inside Wembley Stadium and watched them perform. I remember listening to the radio on a Sunday evening to hear 'See The Star' reach number 16 in the charts. Then there was the call from Jon to say, "We're supporting Bon Jovi!". I saw them do that twice. Once in the rain at Milton Keynes, and again inside the impressive Millennium Stadium. Then there was another call from Jon, "Do you fancy a trip to Canada?" and a few weeks later I found myself sat on a plane with them for an experience of a life time. Memories of concerts at Greenbelt, the NEC, the Albert Hall. Gigs in football stadiums, tiny night clubs and on the beach. So many things that I'll remember forever. Maybe I'll blog about some of those experiences in more detail in the coming weeks.

12:00am In bed I drift off to sleep wondering how the final concert will feel. Knowing that I'm watching them on stage for the final time will be a truly emotional night.

Sunday, 6th July 2008
10:30am It's official. A press release lands in my inbox and the announcement goes up on Delirious.co.uk.

I suppose it will take a while for the news to really sink it. I've been a fan for so long and I can't quite believe there will never be a new album or another tour to look forward to. But I'm grateful for the amazing memories, and that's what I want to dwell on right now.

During Stew's farewell gig I also took several videos, filmed from the side of the stage, to give a unique memory of his final UK concert. The first two videos mainly concentrate on Stew's drumming during two very drum oriented songs, Give What You Got and Paint The Town Red. The third video is of Stew giving his goodbye speech to the crowd from behind his drum kit.

Give What You Got:


Paint The Town Red:


Stew's Goodbye Speech:

I took about 400 photos during the concert, so here's a few more that didn't make it onto the main photo page from the gig or the previous blog post.


Looking over Tim's shoulder


Stu and Martin from the photographers pit


Jon in his orange PJs


Good view of the crowd and balcony


Martin and Stu with Tim in the background


The crowd watches Stew


Stu and Martin seen from the balcony

So the day had finally arrived: Stew's farewell gig. The venue, 'The Indigo2' is located inside what was once known as the Millennium Dome, now rebranded as 'The O2'. It's a huge and impressive structure, visible from miles away. As I left the tube station I caught sight of a huge video screen just outside the main entrance, advertising the Delirious? concert. Having arrived way too early and unable to reach Jon on the phone, I wandered around inside the O2 and eventually bumped into a few familiar faces (Clare, Tom and EEB from the forum). Later as I walked back past the Indigo2 I ran into Martin and Jon who escorted me inside. Jon gave me a quick guided tour of the venue, a fresh new trendy building with excellent facilities. The view from stage looked great, and the crowd were close to the action on both floor and balcony levels.


We headed behind the stage to the dressing room area where crew members were mingling, waiting for show time. I sat amused at Jon and Lee (guitar tech) questioning each other on the merits of the new songs. Before long the man at the center of attention entered the room. Stew looked a little nervous but still greeted me with a smile and a hand shake. I asked how he was feeling and he admitted to feeling a little strange. A few weeks back I had been due to carry out an interview with Stew, but he'd requested we do it face to face tonight instead. So with less than an hour remaining till the band were due on stage, Stew and I headed to an empty dressing room and settled into a couple of chairs.


It took me a few minutes to set up my laptop to record the interview, so we chatted for a few minutes without the pressures of a tape recorder. He seemed fairly relaxed but said he was worried about 'holding it together' for the show. I asked if he had many friends and family coming tonight. Rather impressively he said that he'd personally added 80 people to the guest list! We began the interview, and concious of the fact that he probably didn't want to spend too long talking about his decision to leave the band so close to his final gig and with his family waiting around outside for him, I deliberately cut a few questions out and kept the interview to under 15 minutes. He gave candid and open answers, talking clearly about some of his highlights over the years and his thoughts about the future of the band. The interview will be available on my site soon, but a few interesting points were his insistence to the band that if they were going to split up because of him leaving, then he wasn't going to leave. He also gave plenty of hints that the mainstream still holds a future for d:. Some very interesting thoughts. As we finished, I presented Stew with a Leaving Card that the forum had collectively contributed to. He was clearly touched by the gesture, although he understandably said he'd leave reading all the comments for a less emotional day!


By now the main back stage area was getting pretty busy, about half an hour till show time. JB from Fierce was there and we had a chat about a few things, including the superb special packaging for Kingdom Of Comfort. Fitting it on your CD rack will be a problem, but it's well worth the inconvenience! Finally the band made their way along the under stage corridor (plenty of low beams holding up the stage to bump your head on) and onto the side of stage where the DJ was finishing his support slot. Jon whispered in my ear that this was going to be the strangest start of show ever. "Why?" I asked. "You'll see" he replied. Stew walked out onto stage, climbed onto his drum riser and saluted the crowd. Suddenly Jon and the rest of the band pulled pairs of tights over their faces, armed robber style, and walked onto stage. Now I understood.


The security at the Indigo were extremely friendly and helpful, not once attempting to stop me taking photos or standing somewhere. Definitely a breathe of fresh air for me. No matter how shiny your AAA pass, there's usually at least one security guy ready to give you a hard time. But tonight they were happy to glance at my pass and let me get on with what I wanted to do, even pointing me in the right direction when I was unsure about the routes backstage. Having ventured down to the photographers pit (empty all night apart from me, and occasionally Hutch) and upstairs to the balcony, I then spent much of the show stood 2 meters to Stew's left, just behind a black curtain at the side of stage. I wanted to take as many photos (and a few videos - more on that another time) of Stew at his final UK show as I could. Several times Stew glanced down at me. He was clearly enjoying the show and giving it everything he had.


During the encore Stew's wife and two daughters were brought on to stage, and then behind Stew's back, Jon rode onto stage on a Vespa. I managed to capture the moment as Stew turned round to see the farewell gift from his band mates (see above). The look on his face was classic. Utter surprise, amazement and delight. The bike was wheeled off stage and the finale completed with a stunning rendition of Investigate.


As the band left the stage Stew gave me a sweaty hug, and I was impressed to see he'd managed to hold back any tears. "What a night!" everyone said. The band returned to their dressing room and huddled together in private. I headed back out into the venue and caught up with a few forum people.


Returning backstage I went up several flights of stairs to the VIP bar area where the after show party was taking place. Jon brought a certain Mr Paul Evans over to chat to me. He's a very nice guy and seemingly undaunted by what lies ahead for him in about a months time. He confessed to having already had a sneaky look around the forum, so I suppose he's well aware of what he's letting himself in for! After a drink and lots of chatting, I had to tear myself away to catch the train home. A remarkable and emotional night, but definitely not the last we'll hear of Stew.

I've just added my review of new album Kingdom Of Comfort to Delirious.org.uk and here are a few more thoughts about it.


Getting used to a new album is a mix of emotions. There's the excitement of what's new, the eagerness to learn the songs, and the unfamiliarity of listening to something that's not quite what you've heard before whilst still being somewhat familiar. Everyone has their own taste, and you listen out for that musical formula that directly meets your requirements. For me, I need certain things to enjoy music. When the ingredients in the music add up to what my brain knows it likes, I develop a bond with the music. Some songs instantly jump out and find a place in my sonical appetite, others take a while to convince me.

With Kingdom Of Comfort there were several songs that I knew from the first listen were going to be the 5/5 star rated songs in the review. Love Will Find A Way, Break The Silence and My Soul Sings all have the perfect ingredients. The first two have choruses that stick, begging to be sung, and guitar riffs that make you smile. My Soul Sings has that intense, emotional, close-your-eyes and stare-in-wonderment feeling to it that I can only compare to Take Off My Shoes from previous album The Mission Bell. There are two measures I use to know how much I love a song. One, I keep singing it to myself when I've turned off the iPod. Two, when the song ends I have to hit the back button and listen to it again straight away. This morning as I drove to work I did both those things with My Soul Sings. It could become an all time favourite.

Wonder is another song that I absolutely love. It just missed out on a top rank because I'm not sure the 'sweet heart' reference feels right, but the chorus (it's always the choruses I love) is just so infectious - absolutely amazing. I remember enjoying Stare The Monster down at the Living Room gig, but now I've really taken it in properly I can fully appreciate the lyrics. I mentioned several times in the review just how good the song writing is on this album, and it really has impressed me how well the words deal with difficult subjects like poverty and cancer.

And another thing - where's the 2/5 rated song? For me, every Delirious? album has one song that I could live without. Love Is A Miracle (The Mission Bell), Everyone Knows (World Service), America (Audio Lessonover) - OK don't shoot me, one man's least favourite is another man's favourite - I realise that, but the point is, I always find one song that in my opinion is only worth 2/5 stars. I couldn't do it this time. Eagle Rider came close. But the more I listened the more I had to up its score to 3/5.

My opinions of the songs will change. This is just a review based on first impressions and to be honest, my track record isn't great. In a moment of utter inexplicable madness I rated Take Off My Shoes 3/5 in my initial Mission Bell review. Within a few months it became not only my favourite on the album, but my all time favourite Delirious? song. So don't pay too much attention to me now, other than to believe me when I say that Kingdom Of Comfort is an absolutely stunning album that I can't stop listening to.

In my previous blog post I talked about being backstage before the Christmas gig, in the Delirious? dressing room, when JB (head of Fierce) took me aside to talk about a few things. I wrote at the time that some things were going to happen in 2008 that you wouldn't be expecting. Well, finally the news is out. Stew is leaving the band. Hard to believe I know, but it's true. Back in that dressing room, JB said to me, "So have you heard about Stew?". "Heard what about him?" I asked. There was a slightly uncomfortable moment where JB realised I didn't know, and wasn't quite sure what to say. It was then that Stew walked into the room. "I'm leaving the band" he said to me. I looked at him, and for several moments I convinced myself he was winding me up. Stew is a great joker and master of dead pan lines, I've seen him joke around before, and I thought he must be joking then too. In truth, I wanted him to be joking. "Are you serious?" I asked. He was. I took a deep breath. "Wow. I don't know what to say" I replied.

What do you say when one of the core parts of a band tells you he's leaving. So many questions. So many uncertainties. Stew explained that he'd done so much with Delirious? over the years and he felt there were more opportunities in his life that he wanted to explore. Being in a band like Delirious? involves a lot of travel, and Stew is a dedicated family man who has spent more than a decade juggling the commitment of being in a band with the responsibilities of being a husband and father. He came to the decision that it was time to spend more time at home with his family and time to explore his creative talents that bit more. As he explained this to me it dawned on me that although this is a big shock for Delirious? fans, and indeed the band itself, it is also exactly the right decision for Stew. "Good on you" I said to him. And I meant it.

It takes a very brave man to make a decision like this. Change is never easy. Keeping on doing what you've always done is the easy path. Turning off the main road and taking a new direction is hard. Normally when a band member leaves it's down to a falling out. "Creative differences in the band" is the usual reason given. But this is Delirious? They're family. This departure isn't caused by a disagreement, an argument, a clash of egos. It's caused by a man putting his family first. Taking a difficult decision, changing a life style, starting something new. I'm sure tears will be shed over this. But I'm also sure that everyone involved with Delirious? respects Stew's choice and realises he's done the right thing for himself and his family.

Stew is an incredible guy. I've had the unbelievable experience of standing just a couple of meters away from him as he pounds the living daylights out of his drum kit on stage. The power, passion and total commitment is just stunning to witness. When he drums the music is all consuming. You can tell this by the total abandonment evident in his legendary facial expressions! He shuts the world out, focuses on God and plays in the only way he knows how. No wonder the band are going to miss him.

But this by no means spells the end of Delirious? They are on a mission. They have unfinished business. They will continue.

Through our sadness let's all wish Stew every success and happiness in his future.

With my usual imperfect timing I arrived at the restaurant in Shepherds Bush just as Jon was leaving. No matter, I walked with him to The Empire, passed the already lengthy queue of people standing outside in the freezing weather and in through the stage door. Jon waved his pass and the security person's eyes came to rest on me. "Pass?" she demanded. "It's ok, he's with me" tried Jon. Not good enough. "Name?" she demanded again. A lady of few words, yet authoritative enough to show you that no arguing would be accepted. With a bit of help from production staffer Tim the magical AAA laminate came into my possession, allowing me access to all of those mysterious doors that are usually shut firmly in your face. Once in the dressing room Jon and I set about some pressing tasks, namely facebook scrabulous. Having missed dinner, Jon graciously raided the dressing room supplies for me. He presented me with two fun size Mars Bars, an orange and a drink (water of course, nothing but water). Who needs London restaurants anyway?


So by now you've seen my choice of photos for the blog. There's no avoiding it, the subject of fancy dress has to be addressed. As each of the band members trickled into the dressing room, the subject of fancy dress was raised. More specifically, the lack of any sign of fancy dress in the queues of people waiting outside. I detected a few hints of "maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all" syndrome among the band. Too late to back out now they began to don their outfits. As you can see from the above dressing room photo, this was no half hearted dress-up. Rumour has it that Tim liked his Austin Powers outfit so much he actually bought it rather than hire it. Jon's hand gesture above was created after careful consideration. Deciding he really needed to know how to wave like the Pope, Jon carried out some detailed research on the subject, courtesy of Google (see below). It's not often you see the Pope surfing the web.


There were a few logistical problems to resolve with Batman's outfit, namely how to fit Stu's ear pieces inside his mask. Then there was poor Stew, destined to an evening drenched in sweat inside his Gorilla suit.



It was about this time that Jon 'JB' Brown (head of Fierce) arrived in the dressing room, and took me aside for a long and interesting chat about what is going on in d: world. I'm not sure why I'm telling you this since I can't actually tell you anything he told me, but suffice to say some things are going to happen next year that you don't expect. Anyway, before long 'show time' had arrived. I'd meant to pop downstairs to catch part of the support set, but somehow the time had passed before I'd even realised, and now Delirious? were taking the walk down several flights of stairs to congregate in the wings of the stage.


If there's one venue I know well it's Shepherds Bush Empire. This was my 10th time seeing Delirious? in the venue and with the help of my trusty AAA I was able to make use of the numerous, and now very familiar, corridors and doors that provide access from backstage to front of house, to stairwells and the balcony - providing a speedy route to any part of the venue. With my camera in hand I proceeded to tour the venue taking shots from every vantage point. I keep telling myself that one day I'll go to a Delirious? gig and actually sit in a seat for the entire show (it's never going to happen). The above photo shows the view from Trevor's monitors desk at the side of stage. The guy works tirelessly through out the gig, with 5 different sound mixes to maintain - one specifically tailored to each band member. It's fascinating to watch. At any moment one of the guys on stage could signal to Trevor, often little more than a wave of hand to indicate that there's too much guitar in the mix, or not enough vocals. Trevor takes it all in his stride.


Up in the balcony you get a great view of the stage with the crowd tightly packed in jumping together like a swarm of bobbing insects. SBE has several different balconies, getting progressively higher towards the ceiling, but even from the very top you still feel like you're in touching distance of the band on stage. There's just something supremely special and intimate about this venue, one of the many reasons it's my all time favourite music venue.


Another privilege of having the right pass is that you get to 'do battle' in the photographers pit in front of the crowd barriers. Squeezed into the pit with several other camera wielding people and numerous security personnel is an interesting experience. It does give the opportunity for some 'looking up the bands nostrils' shots though, and this one of Batman G playing guitar was a particular favourite of mine.


There was a part in the set where Martin and Stu sit alone on some stools in the middle of the stage. I watched this from the wings and was taken slightly by surprise as a large hairy creature came walking towards me. Stew had a 2-song break while Martin did some acoustic numbers so had decided to leave the relative discomfort of his drum set to strip out of the heat inducing Gorilla suit he was wearing. There was something slightly odd about talking to him mid-set. As Martin and Stu's 'Silent Night' ended, Stu also left the stage to stand with Jon and Stew in the wings while Martin performed a solo rendition of 'There Is An Angel'. Stu was desperately trying to persuade Jon to join him in some pantomime antics on stage to put Martin off, but I think they decided against it in the end.


The show ended and we all returned to the dressing room where I had to make a hurried exit to catch a train home. My camera contained another 250 d: photos to sort through, of which 18 made the cut to this website. Hope everyone has a great Christmas - see you in 2008.